REFLECTIVE INSIGHT #008 - FROM THE VOID TO THE LIGHT: WHY I AM TELLING MY STORY
Coming clean
They say the darkest part of the night is just before the sun comes up, but for a while there, I was not sure if the morning would ever arrive. I am going to be totally straight with you: this is the scariest thing I have ever done. I am opening up about a time when my mental health broke down so badly that I was scarily close to checking out for good.
My world did not just feel messy; it felt like it had completely fallen apart. In our Māori way of seeing things, I was stuck in a very heavy season of Te Kore, the Great Void. But as our old people taught us, Te Kore is not just "nothingness." It is the place where all potential lives. It is the soil where the seed is waiting to sprout.
Why share this
I have decided to share this journey and what I am learning about "Quantum Whakapapa" for a few simple reasons. Firstly; talking to you about these deep ideas helps me get my own mind right. It is like running a check on my own internal software. By explaining how we are all connected, I am stitching my own spirit back into the world.
Secondly; I know I am not the only one sitting on the porch feeling like the weight of the world is too much to carry. If my struggle, and the tools I have used to climb out of it, can give even a tiny bit of light to someone else in the dark, then the pain was not for nothing. We are all connected by whanaungatanga. When one of us finds a path to wellbeing, it sends ripples of hope through the whole community.
The light of truth
Ihu showed us that truth and light have the power to change everything, even when things look hopeless. In the Ethiopian Orthodox Bible, we see this promise of a new dawn:
"For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." (2 Corinthians 4:6, Ethiopian Orthodox Bible)
"Nā te mea ko te Atua, nāna nei i kī kia whiti te mārama i roto i te pō, kua whakamārama i o tātou ngākau kia hōmai ai te mātauranga o te korōria o te Atua i te mata o Ihu Karaiti." (Translated from the original Ge'ez)
Looking for answers
Thirdly; I am doing this because I am a genuine truth-seeker. I do not claim to have every single answer, and I suspect I will be learning for the rest of my life. My ideas are being polished as I go, and I am sure some of my earlier thoughts have holes in them.
That is why I want to open this up for a real kōrero. To the skeptics and the doubters: bring it on. Challenge me. I would much rather be corrected and get closer to the truth than stay comfortable with a bad explanation of life. We need to be builders together, and that means being honest about what is working and what is not.
A shift in the North
The final reason I’m sharing my journey; I have started to see that my own story is a mirror for what is happening in Taitokerau right now. We are witnessing a spiritual wake-up call that is helping us reclaim our minds. We are moving away from the old, "static" stories that told us we were a poor or struggling region.
We are stepping into a future where we realise our own infinite potential. My dream is that by putting these hopes into words, I can help build the collective wellbeing of our people and our land. We are taking charge of our own "household" again, using ancient wisdom and modern tools to make sure our culture grows strong and stays healthy.
A fix for the mind
If you feel like you are stuck in the "Void" today, remember that in our history and in the way the world is built, the Void is exactly where creation starts. You are not broken; you are just in a state of huge potential.
Start by looking for just one connection, one thread of family or friendship, and hold onto it. Sharing my darkest moments is the only way I know how to step fully into the light. Let's walk this path together, guided by Wairua Tapu, and prove that the North can be a shining light for the rest of the world.
