The war in my mind

Growing up in Taitokerau, my mind always felt like it was in a tug-of-war. My mum had a very strong faith, and she did her absolute best with what she was taught. But to my scientific mind, the stories I heard on Sunday mornings felt like fairy tales. They were nice stories, but they didn't seem to have much to do with the "real world" of physics, math, or running a business.

I saw a version of faith that people used to control others or a version that stayed trapped inside a church building. It felt separate from the land and separate from the facts of life. I thought I had to choose between being smart and being spiritual.

A challenge to seek truth

Everything changed for me when a kaumātua from my hapū gave me a challenge:

“Kimihia ma te tika ma te pono e whakaatu ai koe.” 

Seek truth and faith and let them show you the way.

This sent me on a journey where I started reading deep science alongside our own Māori traditions.

The feeling of being alone

There is a heavy feeling hanging over our towns lately, a kind of quiet isolation that should not exist in a place as connected as the North. We are surrounded by whānau, yet many people feel lonely. This happens because we have been sold a big lie. We have been told that we are solo agents, or "self-made" people who are only responsible for ourselves.

We have been taught to think of ourselves like separate pool balls on a table, clicking against each other but never truly joining. This is a bad explanation of life. It is a way of thinking that makes us sick and disconnects us from the strength of our community.

The mistake of separation

For nearly two hundred years, the systems brought to our shores have focused on the "individual." This way of thinking treats people as separate parts and carves up the land into private blocks. It disconnects the soil from the water and the people from the land.